ADHD hell

Let's ride bikes.

If ever ever I doubted that the devil drug, Keppra, made the Demie Diva's ADHD worse, I only need look at my life in the last two weeks.

Monotherapy didn't work.  Those little myoclonic jerks I thought I saw?  Yeah, they were what I thought I saw.  Called the neuro and said, in essence...I've started her back on the devil drug.  This is the highest dose at which we had NO visible seizures and NO evil moods.  I refuse to go higher, but I want an official okay to do what I'm doing.  So, we're back on the devil drug.  It's working.

No visible seizures (unless we have a fatigue trigger) and no evilness.  But oh. my.God.

I'm showing my age here....but I used to be one hella wicked pinball player.  My own ADHD probably helped me bounce that little metal ball all over the place, and, quite frankly, the rest of the world never did march to my drum, so I undoubtedly worked of some serious ADHD aggression playing it.

No one told me that there was a four year old version of pinball.  Eff me, that child is off the wall when her Focalin wears off.  We have a listening ear factor of negative five hundred.  We have 6.02 times ten to the twenty-third lack of follow-through on directions as simple as "pick two stories please".  Really, don't tell me that's four and a half.  We have stories (two) every night.  Every.  Single. Night.

Sigh.

My patience, at the end of a day of teaching, is nil.  Somehow, I have to dig up more reserves, as she has been particularly trying the last two days.

I know, and as the grown-up, I understand, that this is partially exhaustion.  We got back from the Diva Grandparents' place on Sunday night.  We went back into reality on Monday, and her dad picked her up.  She was up in the middle of the night last night in near-hysterics over the loss of her stuffed giraffe.  (He'd fallen on the floor).  When she is tired, her brain goes into rapid-fire mode.  Fatigue is a trigger.  It's not her fault.  She can't help it, since the overactive brain does funky things to the ADHD.

Knowing what I know about her birthmother's medical history, I know that she comes by this genetically.  Knowing what I know about how much my child she is, I know that she comes by this honestly.

The apple doesn't fall far from either tree.  Which, actually, is another post - this one adoption related, and raising the tandem issues of "when does it become their story" and "how do I tell my relatives that it is now irrelevant unless the Demie Diva chooses to share.

This is a road I never expected to navigate.

Does someone have a map?